Setting: At the bar of a smoky dive tavern, College Town, Iowa, circa 1998 or thereabouts
Random white dude: “Are you Japanese?”
Me: “No.”
RWD: “Oh. So what are you?”
Me: “I am patiently waiting for my drink.”
RWD: (dorky laughter) “No, I mean, so where are you from?”
Me: (getting my drink from the bartender) “I am from (hometown).”
RWD: “Yeah, but OK, so where were you from before that?”
Me: “Does it matter?”
RWD: “I’m just interested, that’s all.”
Me: “Not that it’s any of your business, but I was born in Korea, and have grown up here since I was a baby.”
RWD: “Oh, OK, so you’re adopted.”
Me: “Uh huh.”
RWD: “I know another adopted Korean girl.”
Me: “Me, too.”
RWD: “I mean, I just thought … you know. I’ve known others. Just saying.”
Me: “I know some other white people. Maybe you can get together sometime.”
RWD: (uncertain laughter)
Me: “Well then. I’m going to go stand over there now.”
RWD: “Can I get your number?”
OMG, that sounds so familiar except my answers weren’t nearly as good as yours.
Sume, I used to find that my level of sassiness corresponded to the number of Long Island Iced Teas and/or tequila shots that I had under my belt. This one was probably about a two-drink conversation.
But Ji-In, why didn’t you give that fine outstanding man your number?
I love your next to last comment, I’m gonna have to borrow it sometime.
And why the bloody hell don’t these losers ever get the message that we’re not interested in assholes like them? I once told a RWD that I should razor a slash mark into my arm for every person like him to harrass me. Dumb shit didn’t get it and somehow turned that into a pick up line.
I loved your responses. I think we’ve all had this question asked to us. Here’s a question you left out: “north or south?”. Have any of you all been asked this too or is this an Oklahoma thing? Lately, I’ve been thinking about it and from now on whenever someone asks “north or south” I’m going to answer, “The DMZ man…”
Jaye — It’s actually quite amazing, but I don’t recall that particular gentleman even plying me with a dashing “Konnichiwa!” or “Nihao!” Then I most certainly would have swooned on the spot and offered to bear his children. Whatev.
Jason — The DMZ! GOod answer.
Oh, it’s not just an Oklahoma thing. I even had a friend once tell me that she knew a couple who was adopting a North Korean baby. I was like, “Uhhhh … I … don’t … think … so.” *sigh*
You really said that?!?! Dang, I would’ve paid to see that.
So great! If I had a dollar for every conversation like the one you wrote … yep, I’d be a MILLIONAIRE. I loooove your second to last line too. I rarely can come up with clever responses, so hats off to you!
No, I just got the “North or South” question last week at Target.
Ji-In, you clever gal. Channel some of that sassiness my way, will ya?
Oh man. I wonder if these guys have any success with this approach? I mean, they wouldn’t keep doing it if it didn’t happen to work at least once, right?
Recently was in Charlotte, waiting for my flight to LA, and some black guys asks me if I speak Cantonese! I guess we all really do look alike.
Then, this older white fellow I was talking baseball with, makes a comment about how Yankee starting pitcher and Taiwan native Chien-Ming Wang is “big for being an Oriental” or something like that. I just smiled and nodded my head, didn’t want to make a scene, but I’m thinking I should have said something.
I hadn’t traveled outside of NYC for a while, so wasn’t used to the constant “you must be a foreigner” kind of vibe.
OMG. Thats fantastic and yet disturbing all at the same time.
I’ve gone that round too…someone once insisted that North Korean babies were rapidly being adopted and therefore I shouldn’t be irritated that she’d asked if I was from South or North.
I love your responses to the RWD! I generally find putting their questions/comments right back in their face is a good method. Most don’t get it, but some start to realize that maybe, just maybe what they’re saying is completely idiotic.
tally me up in that ol’ familiar conversation opener. i’ve not only had rwds do the beat-around-the-bush questioning but little old ladies as well. i like to leave ackward silence with my responses. just to see if they are really gonna go on with it. and of course they do. geesh.
There’s a chapter in my MFA thesis that devotes on this exact scene! (My character actually stabs the guy’s hand with a fork… because I’ve wanted to do that.)
Why is it that, when people find out that I’m from Korea, they start listing every single person they know who have adopted someone from Korea? Seriously, it’s always ‘my cousin’s sister-in-law’s grandma’s fifth cousin removed’s brother’s wife’s third cousin’ who adopted this cutest little Korean girl… and, of course, she’s smart as a whip.
Then they tell you how much you look like the said adoptee…
Haha… what a series of striking responses. I really wanted to see the guy’s pathetic face after your last response!
He usually make people stunned by mixing north and south when he talks about his home country….gees….
Another… north and south thing always make my son confused. To him, he’s always just a Korean, a Korean doesn’t speak Korean very much
north or south! I had a student ask me that today and every student who already knew me just laughed at him and called him an idiot. It’s nice not to have to explain in that setting, and that the kids will do the explaining for me.
But here’s the weird thing…I had a Korean ask me where I was from while I was in Seoul.
*spits drink on keyboard*
Bwahahahhaa!
yeah…oh the famous “where are you from” dialogue. Let me tell you, some ppl are damn persistent too!
“Where are you from?”
“No really, where are you originally from?”
“Um, where are your parents from?”
“What about your grandparents?”
“Ancestors?”
No lie, this is an ACTUAL conversation I had with a Dean at the college I attended freshman year.
And whats with the “I knew a korean adoptee…or my cousin’s half brother’s best friend twice removed has a Korean adopted niece” That’s just great. You get a cookie! hahahaha
Good lord…this shit proves that common sense is NOT that common! =P
The comedian Tina Kim has a great response to the “Oh, I dated a Korean girl once. . .” line. She says, “Oh really? I knew an ugly white guy once.” I think that’s hilarious, but I’ve never been bold enough to say that. The situation to use that line comes up when talking to one of my fiance’s co-workers or something–not at all appropriate.
Once someone asked me, “North or South?” and I guffawed. “Why is that so funny?” he asked. I felt like I had a personal joke going with myself.
“I know some other white people. Maybe you can get together sometime.”
can i steal this line please? it’s too good.
Please, ladies (or gents), by all means, feel free to borrow any bits of this sample conversation in your own encounters with RWDs. Gotta share the sass. I know I borrow liberally from others’ comebacks.
Bravo!
oh, for a smart girl like you would be BRAVA!
=)
What a great punch line!
Thanks.
(I wish people have more often “activate” part of their brain when they are actually interacting with others. wouldn’t it be nice?^^ )
have you ever had this?…
ok, why is that when I walk in to Japanese restaurant, they start talking to me in japanese?
and Why this happen at some fine chinese restaurant as well?
Of course they take a few good minute just looking at me first with a nice smile….hmmm
Is it only me?
I was asked exactly the same questions the other day, by a guy who assumed that naturally I’d know all the other KADs at the University of Minnesota, of all places. I wish I’d had this post for inspiration – great comebacks!
The part that I found really funny was that he was Asian-American himself; I was puzzled that he didn’t know better. Then again, I suppose I should not make assumptions.
“I know some other white people. Maybe you can get together sometime.”
Ha! So awesome.
Kind of blowing my own trumpet, but I did a short comic on this subject which you might appreciate
http://www.lairofthetwistedkitten.co.uk/comics/space/space09.htm
I studied Korean being interested in linguistics. When I told other white people that I was in Korea, they often ask me North or South. It’s just truely amazing how ignorant people are about the world.
So what pickup lines would work? Hehe. Just kidding, don’t answer that.
Well if you are a white person in Asia you get people coming up to you to speak English all the time, how do they know I even speak English! I began getting so annoyed I would only respond in French. It’s much worse for us over there.
“It’s much worse for us over there.”
Sure, OK, dude. Whatever.
“Where are you from?” is one of my best opening lines for asian chicks. I get a number every time! I wonder why I get away with it?