Comments on: Naming, renaming and reclaiming: A ?-part series http://twicetherice.wordpress.com/2007/04/13/naming-renaming-and-reclaiming/ Open mind. Insert perspective. Fri, 18 Jan 2008 13:18:25 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ hourly 1 By: Susan http://twicetherice.wordpress.com/2007/04/13/naming-renaming-and-reclaiming/#comment-15871 Susan Wed, 28 Nov 2007 12:24:17 +0000 http://twicetherice.wordpress.com/2007/04/13/naming-renaming-and-reclaiming-a-part-series/#comment-15871 You know, the main thing I get from the interchange between Jeff and the adoptees here who have clearly through through their experiences so subtly, is that dominant culture people--men, white people, middle class people, Christians, etc--in the US just really need to listen. Not talk. Not post. Just read and shut up more. People like Jeff don't have a lot to say in a topic like this one. He doesn't need to tell you that the hygienist needs to be 'given a break'. He doesn't need to say anything. He wants to, for some reason. Maybe he wants to belong and be accepted and loved. For that, however, he needs to go to therapy. Not post. I understand what he's trying to suggest. But...it's just superfluous. I'm not an adoptee, and I'm white. But I have a disability, and it is not visible, and one that's poorly understood by most people. I just really, really don't need to 'give people a break' anymore. People in public contact positions need to be educated and trained to be respectful and stop making assumptions of all kinds and just acknowledge clients exactly as we present ourselves. America is very complex now. Things are not obvious. They no longer fit into Dick Jane Sally categories. If they ever did. I live in the San Francisco Bay Area and we kind of know that here. Pretty much! I see people all the time whose ethnic backgrounds I can't guess, and kids with parents who don't look a lot like them, and I'm used to it. I'm used to people identifying as disabled who aren't using wheelchairs. I'm used to seeing Asian-looking people with European names. Maybe in Alabama that's not yet very common. Just hang in there, TTR. Just keep writing and thinking and talking about this stuff. You know, the main thing I get from the interchange between Jeff and the adoptees here who have clearly through through their experiences so subtly, is that dominant culture people–men, white people, middle class people, Christians, etc–in the US just really need to listen. Not talk. Not post. Just read and shut up more. People like Jeff don’t have a lot to say in a topic like this one. He doesn’t need to tell you that the hygienist needs to be ‘given a break’. He doesn’t need to say anything. He wants to, for some reason. Maybe he wants to belong and be accepted and loved. For that, however, he needs to go to therapy. Not post.

I understand what he’s trying to suggest. But…it’s just superfluous. I’m not an adoptee, and I’m white. But I have a disability, and it is not visible, and one that’s poorly understood by most people. I just really, really don’t need to ‘give people a break’ anymore. People in public contact positions need to be educated and trained to be respectful and stop making assumptions of all kinds and just acknowledge clients exactly as we present ourselves.

America is very complex now. Things are not obvious. They no longer fit into Dick Jane Sally categories. If they ever did. I live in the San Francisco Bay Area and we kind of know that here. Pretty much! I see people all the time whose ethnic backgrounds I can’t guess, and kids with parents who don’t look a lot like them, and I’m used to it. I’m used to people identifying as disabled who aren’t using wheelchairs. I’m used to seeing Asian-looking people with European names. Maybe in Alabama that’s not yet very common.

Just hang in there, TTR. Just keep writing and thinking and talking about this stuff.

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